FORMSPRING:D

LOL. my formspring is really at mess c:

OWWW YESSS.

i was suppose to attend the EElympics at Lyceum
but suddenly laziness strikes again.
i was totally preoccupied with my school mess,
and i don't have any strength to stand up from bed.
the feeling of loneliness still lingers on my veins.
i didn't attend the event and do my lazy regular day.
nothing so special.
net surfing, facebooking, page hopping, etc.
but this night is kinda special than ordinary c:
i found out that my big crushhhhhhhh :"> is online !
even if he don't talk to me.
i still felt some happiness over me. c:
owwww yessss.
at least there's a person who can cheer me up.
just seeing your name on my chatbox,
and for the fact that you're still awake just like me,
ohhhh that feel so special.
i feel so happy.
thanks CRUSH! :">

I EAT BECAUSE..

yesterday, i woke up feeling so depressed.
i'm feeling self pity more and more.
i was crying.
wishing and praying that everything went good as i want it to be.
thoughts are running through my mind.
it's really a heavy feeling.
i tried to smile and go on.
but today.
it grew worse.
i never expect this feeling.
torn and worn out.
inside and out.
emotional and physical.
what hurts the most is, NO ONE REALLY CARES!
everybody were fucked up in their own groups.
everyone laughs as if i'm not there.
if they only knew how envy i was.
and so..
i went home.
i went home all alone..
i managed to hold my tears while i'm riding my way home.
and so.
i eat. i eat until i'm full.
i eat until i feel bloated.
i eat until there's no space left inside my tummy.
i eat because i'm lonely.
i eat because i'm alone.
i eat because i have no one to lean on.
i eat coz i'm TORN.
yeah i'm TORN. :(

BEING ALONE.

you know what's damn?
when the friends you got turn their backs.
as if they never knew you.
as if they were never your friends.
as if you're not here.
you're putting efforts but still it's unseen.
you don't know the reason behind it.
you don't even have the chance to ask what's going on.
it suck.
this feeling really is frustrating.
heartbroken hurts.
but this one kills.
feeling of deserted.
feeling of alone.
no one to cheer you up.
no one cares for you.
and this is really a damn.
it's a big DAMN! :(

CONFUSED.

i don't really understand, why am i feeling this way.
everything seems fucked up.
everything seems messed up.
i don't know what's the problem w/ myself.
i'm too stubborn.
i don't know why ~ i really really don't know.
it's just that, i'm feeling that i have no energy to move.
i'm telling myself that i should grow up.
that i should learn to be more responsible,
and more sensible in everything that i do.
careless and worthless. that's the sense i'm feeling right now.
question i don't know how to answer.
i'm in doubt that my parents nor my friend can help me out.
i'm by myself.
i'm gone.
i'm lost.
i'm confused.
MAY GOD BE THE LIGHT.

-zj

love or hate

its just so weird ..
way back from ffs addiction times,i was actually playing .. yeah .. as in literally playing >:]
i get to know many people,extend my social network and find some enemies too ..
well,this is one guy who always tackle me, (uh.,not literally >_< )..
he always see the wrong in me .. and even became so annoying when he suddenly brings out his "i am cool" side .. yeah he's cool .. as in !
i certainly hate him .. he's been callin' me some endearments and it really pissed me off ..
i really really hate him .. i swear !
but like what they say .. "IF YOU HATE SOMEONE THAT MUCH .. AND YOU CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE,THE NEXT STEP COULD BE JUST TO LOVE HIM.."
funny at first ..
it was like ..
woah ! why should i love him ?
i totally hate him !

but one day,
a message in the inbox bothers me ..
well you know ..
thats how it all started :p

boy or man?

boy ^^

interrogate me :]]

am i boring?

hell NO !

interrogate me :]]